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Shakespalin

07/26

 

 

Sarah Louise Heath Palin: 

Hockey mom? Check. ✔ 

Pitbull with lipstick? Check. ✔ 

Failed Vice Presidential candidate? Double Check. ✔✔ 

Moose aficionado? Check. ✔ 

Maverick? Check. ✔ 

Connoisseur of the English language? Check. ✔ 

It seems that Sarah Barracuda is once again putting that good old “Washington outsider’s” charm on the English language. That’s right. After educating the public on the literary techniques of satire*, she who has quit-eth thee governorship-eth of Alaska-eth is now engaging the American public in a lively discussion on the works of William Shakespeare. Inspired by the “Bard of Avon,” Palin invented a word while on The Sean Hannity Show on Fox last week (but not before referring to President Obama as “half black or half white,” during their race-based discussion).   

Propagating her usual propaganda on the imaginary news network  

Commentating on yet another issue she has no clue about  

Speaking against a resolution to condemn extremist elements within the Tea Party by the NAACP, she who can see-eth Russia from her house-eth suggested that President Obama and the First Lady “refudiate” the accusations made towards said group. (I’m sorry, I’m still on the beginning levels of the Rosetta Stone language-learning software for Palinese; I can’t quite yet translate this word into moronspeak.) 

Behold, REFUDIATE. From the Oxford English Dictionary’s list of newest entries and also from the Latin “stupidus bitchus.” 

re·fu·di·ate: (rĭ-fyōō’dē-āt’)
tr.v. re·pu·di·at·ed , re·pu·di·at·ing , re·pu·di·ates
 

1. a. To refuse to repudiate an object or an idea – esp. one that relates to race. b. To refute a repudiation of an object or an idea – esp. one that relates to race. e.g. “They could refudiate what it is that this group is saying” – Sarah Palin 

2. To refute an eradiation or eradiations. e.g. Scientist: “Mrs. Palin, you really shouldn’t shine that laser pointer directly into your eyes. The radiation will damage your retinas.” Sarah Palin: “Nonsense. Jesus refudiates your stupid theories of radiation. Lasers are like crayons Jesus’ dad gave to Adam and Eve to draw pretty colors onto the air. Wow, now look at all the dark floating spots I see.”  

Now, if that doesn’t help us understand what the fuck this twit means (as is always the case), perhaps analyzing her use of the word in a recent tweet, (where she offered her thoughts on the Mosque at Ground Zero controversy), will further help to determine the semantic content of this contemporary unit of language. 

 

But immediately after learing of her mistake from someone who actually read a newspaper or blog that day, Palin went to work on correcting one of her greatest faux pas to date, and responded via Twitter by saying: 

 

Once again, I think I’m gonna go with Palin on this one, since she has a Bachelor’s Degree in Communications-Journalism and with her latest poignant articulations has proven her skill in the language of Shakespeare. Iambic pentameter, couplets, double entendres, soliloquies, sonnets. If there is anyone in the 21st century who is an expert on the Shakespearean conceit, it’s Sarah Palin.  

Why?  

  1. Because she learned about it at Hawaii Pacific University in the Fall 1982,
  2. as well as at North Idaho College during the Spring and Fall of 1983,
  3. . . .then again at the University of Idaho from the Fall of 1984 to the Spring of 1985,
  4. and also at Matanuska-Susitna College in the Fall of 1985,
  5. FINALLY mastering her skills and graduating from the University of Idaho after returning for the Spring and Fall in 1986 and the Spring of 1987

(In case you missed it—and contrary to popular belief—Sarah Palin also somehow managed to fit in a minor in political science somewhere in her mavericky journey to educate herself.)  

Ms. Palin is truly the most influential wordsmith of this generation. She’s the greatest writer since Homer Simpson. She’s inspiring thousands in the twitterverse to re-write their favorite Shakespearean quotes à la Palin. Behold, @shakespalin!  

“To read or not to read, um, all of them, any of them that have been in front of me over the years. . .as Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where–where do they go? That is the question.” 

The Bard of Wasilla? Check. ✔  

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

   

 

 *see Rahmbo: Rated-R for more details.

 

From → Eng 101

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